Social Skills for Kindergarten -

Kindergarten is a huge year for children. At this age they are learning so many new things like letters, numbers and how to read. They are also placed in a classroom with 20 other kids and expected to get along with their new friends. Intro to socialization 101! So we asked what are basic social skills needed for Kindergarten?

Important social skills for kindergarten are:

Knowing right vs wrong
Expressing feelings
Sharing
Staying on task without constant reminders
Willingness to try new things

If your child attended preschool they probably have tons of experience with socialization. If not here are some skills to work on at home to get your child ready for school life.

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Kindergarten social skills

By definition social skills are the skills we use to interact and communicate messages, thoughts and feelings with each other. Kindergartners are learning how to be social and can have a wide variety of emotions over a short period of time. I know I have seen my kids go from happy to sad to angry and back to happy over the course of five minutes repeatedly. You can have social butterflies and more reserved children all meeting together in a classroom learning how to interact and communicate. Some students will develop quickly, others more slow. Some will learn social cues quicker and some will develop physical skills quickly. Keep in mind each child will go at their own pace and need assistance and practice at different times.

What are social skills for students?

When children enter a school setting there are expectations and standards that are different than life at home or in a play group. Mom and Dad are not available for assistance and they must rely on social skills to get them through the day. Here are a few skills that will help your student succeed in school.

Right Vs Wrong. If kindergarten is the first time your child will be with a large group of children on a regular basis it is important for them to understand right and wrong. Children need to be able to respect space, feelings and rules. They will be expected to keep their hands and feet to themselves when they sit in class, they will need to be kind to their friends during center time and on the playground for free time. They will also need to follow the teachers rules and directions. Teach your child the right behaviors to have in a classroom by modeling at home. Correct them when they make mistakes and talk about how they would be corrected in a classroom setting.

Express Feelings. Feelings can be hard to express for some children. If your child hits or screams when they are upset they may run in to some problems in school. Work on helping them express their feelings with words in a calm way to set them up for school. My son is highly emotional and can get upset easily if things do not go his way. Often times when we stop and ask him direct questions he is able to explain why he is feeling upset in a more constructive way. Usually a quick explanation of a situation helps turn him around and we try to get a hug or smile out of him before he returns to his activity. With lots of practice he has grown to be able to stop and say mid commotion what is making him upset. This has been huge for our household sanity and I hope it will be helpful in Kindergarten next year.

Sharing. This can be a hard one, especially for a child who isn’t used to sharing regularly. When school starts students will need to share toys, supplies and attention. Sharing takes time and they may have tough times here and there. It often takes years to develop sharing fully. Spend lots of time with your child practicing sharing, taking turns and working alongside one another.

Stay on task. In school your child’s teacher will assign a task or assignment to the class and they will have minimal supervision while completing it. It is important your student is able to stay on task without constant reminders. The teacher may be prepping the next activity or working individually with a student and the rest of the class needs to be focused on their own work. You can work on this at home by working on independence.

Willingness to try. In Kindergarten your child will learn tons of new things. New games to play, new foods to try and people to meet. Having a willingness to try new things will keep your student happy and learning. We have one kid who loves new games and adventures, he loves to play with others and socialize. We have one kid who is way more hesitant and will shut down if she doesn’t have a clear understanding of a situation before she arrives. To help her transition to Kindergarten we front loaded her as much as possible about new activities to be open to and new people to interact with. She had a cautious month but eventually fell into the groove of school and was more willing to answer questions and try new things. Some children are naturally more introverted or cautious and that is perfectly fine. Help them realize their emotions and express them. Help them understand their need to open up slowly and that that behavior is acceptable.

How to teach social skills to Elementary students

When you notice your child is lacking in a social skill it is an opportunity to help them develop it at home. I recommend working on one skill at a time and whichever skill you think is most important. You can also ask your child what skill they prefer to work on and hit that skill first. Here are some additional ideas on how to teach social skills at home.

Practice talking about feelings through role play and acting games. Have your child pick an emption and act it out for you to guess. Then act out the emotion for them and have them guess. I would even play out a scene your child has recently experienced or witnessed and talk about how the experience made them feel. To find some great scenes to talk about watch a tv show or movie and pause after the main characters experience something your child will relate to. Daniel Tiger experiences so many new situations and emotions and we love singing the songs when we experience them too.
Practice taking turns with your child. Even if you only have one child practicing taking turns will benefit them. Since I have multiple children turn taking and sharing happens daily. But they squabble over toys and even have some challenges sharing when new friends or cousins come over to play. A great way to practice sharing is to have one child play with a toy for a set amount of time and then have them switch when they timer or time is up. If your child is practicing sharing materials or supplies have them use another until the item is available and practice waiting that way. I typically place all the crayons, markers or paint in the center of the table and the kids take turns with each.
Board games are a great natural way for children to practice taking turns and being a good sport. Taking turns is built into game playing and great for practice. But I love games for working on winning and loosing a game gracefully. Loosing can be especially hard for kids and a great reason to play games. I think they learn best from witnessing how an adult models this behavior first. We have one child who is a quick learner and usually wins games. When she looses she can be really defeated emotionally. So we try to show her that loosing is apart of game playing and it is ok to feel sad, but to try to play again. We work on playing games like Uno, War, Guess Who, memory and Go Fish to experience loosing gracefully.
Work on staying on task with minimal supervision by assigning an activity to your child and then walk a way for a few moments. Increase the time away as your child is successful. Learning to stay on task will help your child in the future when it comes time to study and do homework. We practice this at home by giving my kids a coloring book and crayons and then walk away to the restroom or the kitchen to cook. I am close but not actively coloring with them.
Practice expressing emotions by taking a break when emotions get high. Give your child some space to calm down and then start working on expression. Give them cuddles or reassurance and talk about the incident and how it made them feel. Were they sad, disappointed, mad? What caused that emotion? How can we change our reaction or expectation? How can we try something similar and get more desirable results? With time your child will be able to describe their feelings without questioning. Don’t expect it to happen overnight.
In school children will work side by side with classmates. They will be expected to work on an activity next to a friend or at a table and get along with the other children. Practice this at home by coloring a book side by side with your child or children. Discuss colors, the day or any topic they are loving at the moment. Also practice coloring quietly or in low voice as this may be expected from them in a classroom setting. Working on side by side conversation will help your children with conversation social skills. They may find they have a lot on common with the people they sit with and develop freindships.
Practice manners at all times. Encourage your kids to say please and thank you, cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing and saying excuse me when burping. You can practice most of these manners by playing restaurant and taking turns being a customer and server. You can also encourage these manners while getting out toys or activities.
Work on showing gratitude and the value of helpers to your child. Practice looking for people who serve in your community; emergency workers, doctors and nurses, mail carriers, trash truck drivers and grocery store workers. You can give a simple thank you as you encounter them through the day. Or you can go above and beyond by making cookies and delivering them, make thank you cards or signs and hand them out. Show them that expressing gratitude makes the other person feel good and we feel good as well.
Encourage pretend play. We try to give our kids at least 30 minutes of free play a day. Pretend play is a great way to use their social skills while playing dolls or cars. I overhear my daughters Barbie conversations while she plays and she often repeats dialogues she has heard around the house or from movies we have watched. My son plays with his Paw Patrol characters and acts out conversations from the tv show. They are taking mental notes and then practicing with their own perspective.

These are just a handful of examples of ways to practice social skills at home. Give them a try and add some of your own ideas as well. Remember practice makes perfect.

6 examples of social skills

There are really basic social skills all kids should know. These will come in handy when in school, at the park or playing in a small group. We tend to work on these skills as soon as we start teaching our children anything. So most of them should be familiar and things you may do already.

Sharing is a very basic skill we are all familiar with. From the moment our children were born we started sharing at least our time with them. I know I am constantly sharing my drinks, food, bed and tv time with my kiddos! Sharing toys, games and attention can be challenging for children, so start young, start slow and keep practicing. Share a snack or share a box of legos and encourage sharing even when they are resistant.
Taking turns is similar to sharing except there is only one object that gets used while the other waits. For example you could be playing at a park and one child waits to swing or use a slide, or playing at home and one child gets to color with the red crayon while another waits for a turn. In school turn taking will happen frequently and having developed this skill ahead of time will help your child know what to expect while waiting. Waiting can be a challenge, so reassure them they will get their turn and work on building up the time they are able to wait patiently.
Hearing “no” can sometimes be tough for kids. I know with mine I can only say “no” a handful of times before they become so discouraged they get upset. We can prepare our children to hearing “no” by practicing at home. Be prepared for your child to get frustrated, disappointed and even angry when you tell them “no” repeatedly. Explain your reasons and help them see your point of view. This will help them cope with a “no” answer in the future.
Listening and following directions is another one of those socials skills you have already taught without even knowing it. You expect your child to listen to you and follow simple directions and so will a soon to be teacher. If your child needs a little help with this skill I recommend starting with teaching how to listen with their body first. Often my son will tune me out, or not listen because he is distracted and not focused. I have to take a little extra effort to make sure he stops what he is doing, looks at me and listens to what I say. If giving a direction I follow up by making him repeat the direction back to me. 3 out of 5 times he didn’t hear me or understand what I was saying. Believe me it has taken effort on both our parts to get where we are on a communication level and we still have more work to go. Encourage your child to prepare for instructions by stilling their body, listening with their ears, keeping their mouth closed and eyes focused on you. As your child gets better at completing a one step direction add in two steps and then multi steps and eventually they will perfect this skill.
Following rules is crucial for life. We are expected to follow all sorts of rules daily and helping your child realize rules are meant to be followed will help them function properly in society. Make some house rules that will flow nicely into a class room; being kind to one another, asking to leave the table after dinner, no yelling or running. Simple rules that are easy to remember and enforce will build up their rule following confidence. Be sure to point out when they follow the rules more than when they don’t. As they get older keeping simple rules will make learning to drive, or follow state laws easier.
The last social skill may be a little less common in your day to day activities but is important in school, transitions. Practice transitions with your child so they can be prepared to stop and activity or game before they are ready to stop. In a class room students usually have free time or play time that usually comes to an end before the students are ready to stop. Teachers are pretty good about giving cues or signals for when activities end. In my daughters class room her teacher would give a verbal warning a few minutes before playing a clean up song signaling play time was over. The kids would all sing and clean up with minimal complaints. Some home suggestions are to play a clean up song or set a timer so that you child isn’t surprised she play time needs to end.

Social skills are so important in daily life. They help us communicate with others in pleasant ways. I hope these ideas and suggestions help you develop your little ones skills so they can have a rewarding time in school and with friends.